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Kodiak

Forum game: Create an item for a forum member

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I felt a little bit inspired by the 'favourite forum member' and 'give a forum user a title' threads, so how about this one? Here's the rules:

  1. You can create an item for any member of the forum, but don't be mean or nasty! Light hearted jokes about a user's netiquette, forum habits and mannerisms are appropriate, but no personal attacks on someone's character.
  2. Each item can have up to 3 stats (e.g.: forum charisma, strength, anything at all you can think of that you feel will describe someone), one special stat (e.g.: grants the ability to hide in the lake like a wimp) and a description.
  3. Each item must be given a rarity, and the rarity should reflect on how you feel about the user you're creating the item for. The rarities are Common, Uncommon, Rare, Super Rare and Legendary. Be appropriate with the rarity, I personally wouldn't give a user with 100 posts a legendary item as it's not reflective of their forum activity, but if you want to then you can :)
  4. No items created in bad taste please! Remember that the forum rules still apply.
  5. If you want to attach an image as a visual aid, please don't pick anything with massive image dimensions. Keep it a decent size.
  6. You can create up to three items per post and they can be part of sets, so for example if you wanted to create a set of 3 items for only 1 user, you can do so. You can make more items if you want after someone else has posted some.
  7. Make the formatting decent please. You don't have to include the colors, bold/italics etc like I've done, but make it look like it'd be an item from an RPG you'd get as loot.
  8. Tag the user using @ so we can see who you're creating it for!

So, I'll start off!

Shifty's Samurai Sword (for @ShiftySamurai)

+350 Charisma

+100 Weekly Update power

+150 Profile Picture Contrast

Special ability: Grants administrator abilities and is used for cutting the red tape to open the Salt Mines when they arrive.

"The Legendary Sword of ShiftySamurai. Stories tell of this weapon once being a display piece in the Forum Police house, until Shifty decided it'd look better on him than it would on the wall. They say that this sword is the only weapon capable of removing the tape covering the entrance to the Salt Mines"

 

Cokeyskunk's Coke Can (for @Cokeyskunk)

+100 Correct use of Report Button

+250 Resistance to fear of small, dark spaces

+100 Ability to move safely whilst blind

Special ability: Allows the user to stick their head inside the can whilst using the 'Skunk form' power. Whilst wearing the coke can, the user has a much higher tolerance for the 'rubbish thread' and 'troll' type enemies.

"This coke can was originally believed to be out of an 8 can multi-pack, but it's actually part of a 24 pack. There is only one known user of the 'Skunk form' power; most people aren't too fond of skunks and instead opt to spend their XP on something different"

 

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11 minutes ago, Kodiak said:

Cokeyskunk's Coke Can (for @Cokeyskunk)

+100 Correct use of Report Button

+250 Resistance to fear of small, dark spaces

+100 Ability to move safely whilst blind

Special ability: Allows the user to stick their head inside the can whilst using the 'Skunk form' power. Whilst wearing the coke can, the user has a much higher tolerance for the 'rubbish thread' and 'troll' type enemies.

"This coke can was originally believed to be out of an 8 can multi-pack, but it's actually part of a 24 pack. There is only one known user of the 'Skunk form' power; most people aren't too fond of skunks and instead opt to spend their XP on something different"

This is great. Now I need some kind of animation I use to take Skunk Form when addressing garbage, superfluous threads.

I am so tempted to do this with others, but I fear I would get lost in doing so and spend an exorbitant amount of time doing so!

We shall see . . . 

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The stick of @Truth  (Legendary)

+100 Chance to force someone to say the Truth.

+9000000000 resistance to Jason nerfs.

+800 ability to shut me down.

Special ability: TOPIC LOCK CALL. Inmediately tags forum moderators on unnecessary threads. Finds and pastes the original thread to a topic that has opened before search function used. 

"Some say he is probably handsome, others say he is the most handsome. But everyone says: HEEEEEE'S THE TRUTTTHHHHHHH!"

 

@Ghostboy20 signatured baseball bat (Legendary)

+100 increased 4 seater car speed while driving alone

+666 chance to show up in Randy's stream.

+9999999 chance to reply to any post with a gif.

Special ability: Throws funny gifs that make your opponent stunned by laughing. If fails, it will trigger "The Wrath of the Unholy Baseball Bat of Chad".

 
@Kodiak's Unholy Trident of Thread Lock (Common) (Because we see him locking lots of threads)

+500 range increase of detecting unnecessary threads

+100 chance to shut someone up by locking a thread

+3 Respect bonus after fixing someone's mistake

Special ability: It has all the knowledge to answer any question about the game. Grants its holder with the TOPIC LOCK ability. 

"DUPLICATE THREADS ARE NOT A PROBLEM!!! JUST GRAB THIS AND GO INTO THE BORDERLESS GAP OF THE GENERAL DISCUSSION SECTION!! GET YOURS NOW WITH THE STUPID PERK ROLL SYSTEM!"

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@The Gunslinger remember no double posting please. Also keep within the rules of the game :) Rarity only goes up to legendary, and I'm wondering how +99999999 chance is better than just +99.9%? Lol

Also changed 'Baseball Bat of Dickness' to 'Baseball Bat of Chad'; saying he's dickish or a dick is an insult to his personal character and that's not in good taste for the game.

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Hmmm...well, I'll take a crack at this, sure.

Trident's Trident o' Doom (Rare)

  • 100+ points to badassery.
  • 75% chance to avoid detection by others.
  • 5% chance to spawn a package of sugar-free xylitol gum upon usage (tropical flavor if not specified).

Special Ability: Shadow Wallflower

Gain proficiency of insight while observing others from a distance, then make your move while the time is right. If you already have proficiency in insight, you instead gain expertise on said skill check.

"This item, moreso a tool than a weapon, allows others to observe with a calculated approach, and rewards those who are patient. But then again, is there any difference between weapons and tools? Perhaps the creator saw the two as being the same when he crafted such an item."

Edited by Trident77

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18 minutes ago, Kodiak said:

@The Gunslinger remember no double posting please. Also keep within the rules of the game :) Rarity only goes up to legendary, and I'm wondering how +99999999 chance is better than just +99.9%? Lol

Also changed 'Baseball Bat of Dickness' to 'Baseball Bat of Chad'; saying he's dickish or a dick is an insult to his personal character and that's not in good taste for the game.

Devs can say Chad is a Dick but I can't? 

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Chad is a made up character :) Ghostboy is a real person.

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Just now, Kodiak said:

Chad is a made up character :) Ghostboy is a real person.

I'm so curious how did you end up taking it as a personal attack to Ghostboy?

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Just now, The Gunslinger said:

I'm so curious how did you end up taking it as a personal attack to Ghostboy?

'Ghostboy is a dick', 'Ghostboy has a dickish attitude', 'Ghostboy has a baseball bat of dickness'. Essentially saying he's a dick and/or possesses dickish qualities, therefore defamation of his character and not posted in good taste.

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Alrighty then, I'll join in on the fun.

The Blitzkrieg Meme Cannon (Super Rare)

image.jpeg.9c5184349da4df2fdb9533696beb72e8.jpeg

+1,000 Meme Making

-75 English pronunciation

+25% chance of pissing somebody off

Ability: Russian Rage

When Russian Rage is active, you down a bottle of vodka, sending you into a crazy rage, and make all those thots begone.

"I fear no man. But that... thing. That thing scares me."

 

Kaptain @Kodiak's Book of Magic Gifs (Rare)

image.jpeg.5b1d3a24fd795925b532d900e34ba40d.jpeg

+99.99% chance of getting a like

+50% chance of making plebs flee in fear

-125 fear

Ability: Forum Locking Artillery Strike

When requested, user can send a barrage of lockage upon requested forum, if the owner of the book so wishes.

This book was once written by the fabled wise wizard known as @Kodiak. He comes out from his shack in the woods every so often, to bring peace and thread locks to all those who deserve it.

 

@The Tommy's Sacred Branch (Legendary)

image.jpeg.798735aa70aad714b89c4ea570492888.jpeg

+500% chance of looking cool

+250 Chadness

+75% chance of Jason tunneling you

Ability: Holy Smiting

When activated, all alive players will teleport on your position, become chads (excluding Tommy Jarvis and one person playing as Victoria Sterling) All chads have Sacred Branches, Tommy Jarvis has an ax, and Victoria has the sweater and a bat. All players have 2 pocket knives, and a med spray with the Medic perk equipped. Jason also teleports on the original users position, and Jason can't use any of his abilities. If the counselors fail to kill Jason, all players become Lachappa in the limping state, losing their pockets knives, and the Sacred Branch can never be used by the original user again because they are "unworthy".

Over many generations, this stick has been passed down the line of Kensingtons for years. The current owner of the branch is one known as The Chad. Current whereabouts: Unknown.

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2 minutes ago, BlitzBoy526 said:

Alrighty then, I'll join in on the fun.

The Blitzkrieg Meme Cannon (Super Rare)

image.jpeg.9c5184349da4df2fdb9533696beb72e8.jpeg

+1,000 Meme Making

-75 English pronunciation

+25% chance of pissing somebody off

Ability: Russian Rage

When Russian Rage is active, you down a bottle of vodka, sending you into a crazy rage, and make all those thots begone.

"I fear no man. But that... thing. That thing scares me."

 

Kaptain @Kodiak's Book of Magic Gifs (Rare)

image.jpeg.5b1d3a24fd795925b532d900e34ba40d.jpeg

+99.99% chance of getting a like

+50% chance of making plebs flee in fear

-125 fear

Ability: Forum Locking Artillery Strike

When requested, user can send a barrage of lockage upon requested forum, if the owner of the book so wishes.

This book was once written by the fabled wise wizard known as @Kodiak. He comes out from his shack in the woods every so often, to bring peace and thread locks to all those who deserve it.

 

@The Tommy's Sacred Branch (Legendary)

image.jpeg.798735aa70aad714b89c4ea570492888.jpeg

+500% chance of looking cool

+250 Chadness

+75% chance of Jason tunneling you

Ability: Holy Smiting

When activated, all alive players will teleport on your position, become chads (excluding Tommy Jarvis and one person playing as Victoria Sterling) All chads have Sacred Branches, Tommy Jarvis has an ax, and Victoria has the sweater and a bat. All players have 2 pocket knives, and a med spray with the Medic perk equipped. Jason also teleports on the original users position, and Jason can't use any of his abilities. If the counselors fail to kill Jason, all players become Lachappa in the limping state, losing their pockets knives, and the Sacred Branch can never be used by the original user again because they are "unworthy".

Over many generations, this stick has been passed down the line of Kensingtons for years. The current owner of the branch is one known as Chad. Current whereabouts: Unknown.

Damn . What about me?

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Just now, The Gunslinger said:

Damn . What about me?

image.png.2688db43338671528fae3790f64315a6.png

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8 minutes ago, BlitzBoy526 said:

Alrighty then, I'll join in on the fun.

[Big post here]

+1 for effort! I see you took the time to format it, nice one :)

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Just now, Kodiak said:

+1 for effort! I see you took the time to format it, nice one :)

Thanks, I try. If I'm bored (or when I get to my too easy math class) I'll make more. You still (Might) have a chance @The Gunslinger ;) 

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34 minutes ago, BlitzBoy526 said:

Over many generations, this stick has been passed down the line of Kensingtons for years. The current owner of the branch is one known as Chad. Current whereabouts: Unknown.

Ahem. It's The Chad. Lol

Good lord that penalty for failing the kill! I hope not being able to use the Sacred Branch again is only for the round. If it was permanent I'd probably have to quit playing.  

And no abilty to kill Jason with the Sacred Branch? Noooooooo!!!! 

 

Gonna think about this topic at work and see if I can come up with anything good. Already have some thoughts for my own Sacred Branch. 

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1 minute ago, The Tommy said:

Ahem. It's The Chad. Lol

Good lord that penalty for failing the kill! I hope not being able to use the Sacred Branch again is only for the round. If it was permanent I'd probably have to quit playing.  

And no abilty to kill Jason with the Sacred Branch? Noooooooo!!!! 

 

Gonna think about this topic at work and see if I can come up with anything good. Already have some thoughts for my own Sacred Branch. 

No one know that there was a weapon named the Sacred Branch until you opened the "Wielders of the Sacred Branch" thread. You taught us well master. 

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1 hour ago, The Tommy said:

Ahem. It's The Chad. Lol

 I fixed it, hehe sorry I completely forgot. Please don't smite me, oh lord.

Here are some more.

@The Gunslinger's Gun (Common)

Related image

+25 Accuracy

+50% chance of disagreement

+50 style

Ability: High No!

When High No! is active, you just give up.

The user of this gun, uh, said no?

 

@Risinggrave's Bloody Shovel (Uncommon)

image.jpeg.ac149d1298d6124d752563dc1d4f578e.jpeg

-50 fucks given

+25% stun chance

+75 sass

Ability: Bloodbath

When activated, the user superpowers the shovel, giving it increased damage, stun chance, and durability is regenerated back to 100%.

The original owner of the shovel is said to have dug his own grave, and came back as an undead being to continue the his previous shovel rampage.

@Truthful Dust (Super Rare)

image.jpeg.0723c9fd69f4d567abd0f64502f2aed8.jpeg

+150 Pleb Damage

+200 Honesty

+375 Shit talk resistance

Ability: The @Truth

When activated, the user sprinkles the dust on themselves, empowering them with the @Truth. All enemies are stunned from hearing the @Truth, and gives -damage resistance, making stunned enemies 50% easier to defeat.

The man known as The @Truth was gifted this dust from the original. The dust has been past down from mentor to student, to make sure the mortals will never forget, what the @Truth is.

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2 hours ago, BlitzBoy526 said:

Funny shit

Hahaha. That's good stuff right there, man. 

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4 hours ago, Risinggrave said:

Hahaha. That's good stuff right there, man. 

Thanks! If I may ask, which is your favorite? And when did I ever say "Funny shit"? 

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@BlitzBoy526's Meme Generator of Death (Memendary)

+526 memes per second

+90 chance to make someone die from laughing 

+999 Respect bonus per meme post

Special ability: A MEME A DAY KEEPS THE VOICES AT BAY

Upon activation, generates special memes to sad forum members. If fails to make someone laugh, it will transform into @The Gunslinger's Jason Nerfer 2000.

"He is right there when you need him. He appears when you need him. He makes you laugh when you need it. He and his memes will bring total fun or total destruction. Parental discreation advised."

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3 minutes ago, The Gunslinger said:

@BlitzBoy526's Meme Generator of Death

+526 memes per second

+90 chance to make someone die from laughing 

+999 Respect bonus per meme post

Special ability: A MEME A DAY KEEPS SADNESS AWAY

Upon activation, generates special memes to sad forum members. If fails to make someone laugh, it will transform into @The Gunslinger's Jason Nerfer 2000.

"He is right there when you need him. He appears when you need him. He makes you laugh when you need it. He and his memes will bring total fun or total destruction. Parental discreation advised."

Thanks babe. And what rarity is this beauty of mass memeage? I would post a meme, but my Laptop is dead. 

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