Jump to content
CPLhicks31

If This Game Was A Movie (Fan fiction parody)

Recommended Posts

11 minutes ago, Liquid Swordsman said:

I had to edit my post there. I forgot about AJ lol.

I wasn't really serious about this casting, since I know there are some actors that'll probably do better. Most of these just came to mind. But Buggzy definitely reminds a lot like Lewis from Final Destination 3.

Oh yeah, for makeshift forum casting on a whim I thought you did pretty good. The ones you got right are actually strait up perfect, too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
31 minutes ago, Liquid Swordsman said:

 

Meagan Good as Vanessa.

MV5BOGM3MzNhMGMtNjQ4Ni00MDc2LWE5NjEtMzRm

would watch for this

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Aaron said:

Tommy - Young James Woods

Image result for james woods young

Great casting. You nailed it. I just added a Tommy cameo to the summary, too!

 Woods is so ice-cold in real life, it makes me hesitant but I actually think it should be present-time 70 years old James Woods playing Tommy in my summary and Tommy will just be a selfish old prick who only cares about himself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
37 minutes ago, CPLhicks31 said:

Tiffany fans please let me know what you think:

Idea A) Tiffany has sex with with Kenny, but she'll also get a tinder alert from Chad so he can have a cameo before the spin-off. We get the sense that even though she genuinely likes Kenny, she's a becoming bored of him rather quickly and is intrigued by Chad. She will be portrayed as sweet and curious, but kinda idealistic. Her tinder photo doesn't even show her face, instead it's just pictures of her in various pairs of the same booty shorts in different color textures, over and over again. How could anyone not swipe right? Her gruesome death will be what causes Kenny to go for the car.

See, that's why I think Kenny is a tough call for me. Being a head counselor, it'll seem like he has an obligation to look out for the younger group and leave him no choice but to show humanity throughout the whole movie, which can possibly make him survive. But at the same time, he strikes you like one of those teachers(assuming by his look he's a bit older) secretly sleeping with a student, which has happened a good plenty of times in horror movies. So his fate can probably go either way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Liquid Swordsman said:

See, that's why I think Kenny is a tough call for me. Being a head counselor, it'll seem like he has an obligation to look out for the younger group and leave him no choice but to show humanity throughout the whole movie, which can possibly make him survive. But at the same time, he strikes you like one of those teachers(assuming by his look he's a bit older) secretly sleeping with a student, which has happened a good plenty of times in horror movies. So his fate can probably go either way.

Interesting assesment. I can certainly see it! I think of him as well meaning and rather smart at hands on things. but kind of clueless about everything else, the kind of guy who is a great camp counsellor but is going to be doing it well into his forties because he has no idea how to present himself for anything else.

Perhaps he will be blindly in love with Tiffany and ignorantly assumes she'd want to stay with him forever. He tries bravely but foolishly to save her, only to realize he needs to finally leave the camp to survive (thus he dies because he is metaphorically unable to drive away from the only career he could ever know). In bed after sex I'm going to have him tell Tiffany that he wishes he was Canadian.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

5 hours ago, VoorheesAJollyGoodFellow said:

@Liquid Swordsman All your casting choices are old as hell by now. There's no way they're playing teens/young 20s by now. More than half are pushing 40 or over 40. Get your head out of 2003.

It's not a super serious script, thus it does not require super serious casting. Some of LS's choices were perfect even though they wouldn't actually work in a real movie (which was already admitted). 

I had too much fun writing this thread and we're going to have fun with it : )

I have added Tiffany, a sex scene, a bear trap, and Tommy. All done.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, TiffanyxAJ said:

Maybe a threesome? Chad, Kenny, and Tiffany haha. And Tiffany is sweet so I think she should be portrayed as such, she's just very flirty.

Tina was never mean or rude. She was friendly, besides trying to steal everyone's man. If anything, Tiffany could be portrayed as sweet and nice. Save the mean girl act for (hopefully) Melissa. Heck if I wrote this I'd make her the final girl.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 If i was writing more for artistic value I absolutely would have had tiff being the final girl, but I was more so trying to parody the game while writing a movie that could fit somewhat snuggly in the universe, and then the spinoff that would no doubt happen after hollywood has milked every ounce of blood from an already cliche franchise.

 

PS: I agree, Tina wasn't mean or rude. She was pretty cool actually. i certainly tried to portray Tiff as endearing and likeable. Basically just a really fun girl. I added her into Act 1, along with a sex scene. I also implied that she has motivations beyond partying and boys. The flirty girl shouldn't have to be the mean girl.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/12/2017 at 11:34 AM, CPLhicks31 said:

Friday the 13th The Game: The Movie

ACT 1:

    Vanessa is out jogging along the crystal lake shoreline one evening. She starts sprinting, sending sand flying behind her. She bursts into the boathouse and comes to a stop, resting one foot atop a canoe and catching her breath. Panting, she checks her watch and curses herself. Clearly she is training for one hell of a race. She strolls back outside under the moonlight. Hands on her hips, she surveys the shimmering lake. Out of focus but visible behind her, we spot a dock with some lawn chairs. Empty cans of Poke and Spike are strewn around the chairs, and there's a dumpy little motor boat tied down and gently rocking in the wind. The propeller for the boat is sitting next to it, probably one last chore Kenny had been meaning to deal with. Vanessa lets out a long breath and turns to head back towards the distant sounds of 80's pop songs and campfire chatter that are drifting into earshot from across the lake. We realize that she has run around nearly the entire body of water and we understand how fit but also how tired this young woman must be. The sound of a cola can being kicked startles her. "Oh Bugz," she accuses teasingly while rolling her eyes at the moon, "are you spying on a girl just to improve your cardio again? You know that's creepy." Clearly, she has a strong friendship with Buggzy built upon healthy competition.

   Vanessa turns, but it's not Buggzy or Jason... it's Eric Lachappa, who is standing sheepishly with his hands in his pockets. He frees his hands and he's got an 80's style cliff bar clasped in one sweaty palm. He is evidently not sure how far or how close he should be standing to Vanessa (we note how awful at talking to women he is because he hasn't even said hello yet). He tosses the cliff bar to her but it's a terrible toss and it plops into the sand. She bends down to grab it. Shaking it off, she tells him that she really appreciates his efforts but reminds him that she isn't looking to date anybody until after nationals. Clearly, he's been trying for a while. They begin walking back together, having an awkward but natural conversation that gets us thinking that just maybe this big nerd might one day have a chance with her. She declares her intent to rinse off in warm water and heads off to hit the showers, leaving Eric to ponder his chances and walk back to the campfire party.   

  Before Vanessa makes it to the showers, Jason shows up and initiates a long drawn out chase sequence between the two of them that is not unlike a lion chasing a Cheetah. These creatures are both forces of nature in their own way, but Vanessa's energy has already been spent. She admirably jukes him for a while, but he's inhuman and unrelenting. Eventually Jason is able to grab her and slam her spine full force onto a tree stump, cripling her before he slices off her head with his machete. We wonder if Vanessa could have made it to the others had she not just finished a rigorous training session. Her death reminds us that no matter how resourceful these kids are... Jason. Won't. Stop. Coming.

Kenny and Tiffany are walking to their cabin. Tiff is clutching the neck of a half downed bottle of wine, taking the party with her. She's already stumbling and Kenny has his arm around her to help keep her up. She isn't totally wasted, but we get the idea that Kenny likes being Mr. Reliable for her. They pass by LaChappa, who is helping Jenny and Deb clean up after the party. Kenny asks Tiff if she thinks Eric will ever have a chance with Vanessa. Tiff, catching us off guard a little, says that she really hopes so because Eric is a sweet guy. She tells Kenny she thinks Eric will have his pick of girls after he finishes college and reveals that she made out with him once when they were kids. 

   She and Kenny arrive at the cabin and Tiffany runs onto the porch where she switches on a boombox. She's already dancing as Kenny strolls inside and pours himself a glass of Rye whisky. Tiff is still dancing on the porch sipping wine. She's got her phone out and we see that she's on tinder. She takes a selfie of herself drinking and updates her photo. We see that her previous photos were all booty shots of her in the same pair of short shorts. Kenny is telling her from inside that he wishes the weather was warmer in Canada, because he'd love to try and become a park ranger there. Tiff is only half listening though because she has a notification on tinder from Chad. She can't help herself, she's grinning with the wine bottle still touching her lips. She swipes right and skips inside the cabin, telling Kenny he'd do awesome in Canada, eh. He asks her if she'd tag along but she reminds him that she isn't ready to settle and they only ever agreed this was a "fling thing." He's bummed, but he understands. She pulls a small box out of her dresser and hands it to him. He opens it, revealing a small pocket knife, and admits that it's been a fun summer. Tiff wiggles her nose like the star of Bewitched as she drapes her arms around Kenny. "Guess what?" she says, "I got the part!" We realize that Tiff is an aspiring actress/model. She tells Kenny she's not too drunk to celebrate as they fall onto their bed for a surprisingly tender sex scene that starts with Tiff unbuttoning Kenny's plaid as she straddles him. It's clear that Tiff does this kind of thing a lot, but she isn't the kind of slutty girl who just lays there, either. She wants to show off and Kenny is happy to let her.

   After doing the deed they're lying in bed. Tiffany slides on her booty shorts without bothering to put her panties on. She's looking for her shirt while explaining that Jenny is probably still out there tidying up. Since Tiff isn't tired yet she's going to lend a hand. Just as Tiff slides her crop top on over her breasts, Jason smashes down their door with his machete. Tiff shrieks and attempts to put their long dining table between her and Jason, but she stumbles into it, tipping one end over. Kenny jumps out of bed. Standing in his unbuttoned plaid and his boxers, he's the only thing between Tiff and this hulking masked freak. Kenny's trying to reason with Jason, using his conflict resolution skills by asking the maniac what his parents would think of his behavior. Jason steps towards Tiffany, who is still on the ground but has found a firepoker. As Jason bends towards her, she whips him with the poker and scrambles away. Kenny grabs a block of splintered wood from the broken dining table before charging at Jason, smacking the big freak back. He's yelling for Tiff to warn Jenny and the others, but Tiff's drunk and scared so she's moving towards the other side of the cabin, tripping over herself along the way. She keeps looking over her shoulder at Kenny, wishing she didn't have to leave this stand up guy to die. Jason throws Kenny into a mounted coat rack on the wall. One of the wooden prongs has clearly split open Kenny's back, but not at the spine. He falls to the ground grunting in agony.

   Jason pursues Tiff, who runs into the next room and goes for the window, but she isn't calm enough to work the blinds and get them up out of her way. Jason bounds over to her and she whirls to face him. She's weeping, but still clutching the poker. She starts strafing in some kind of combat stance, refusing to go out with only a whimper. Jason swings at her and she leaps back with just enough space in the room to dodge his attack. She sprints onto their guest bed and Jason swipes his machete at her again but she vaults over that too and Jason's machete sends pillow feathers and torn sheets everywhere. As Tiff lands on the other side of the bed she stumbles and her momentum takes her into the wall instead of through the doorway. Jason steps between her and the exit, but she might be able to to squeeze past. She whips him in the head with the poker again. This time it snaps in half and Jason grabs her by the throat. She's pounding her fists onto his arm but if a firepoker to his head wasn't strong enough to stun him, her hands aren't going to cut it. Jason's machete is lodged in the mattress so he carries Tiff into the bathroom. She lifts up her hands, giving Jason two middle fingers as he slams her head right through the toilet cover and either drowns her in the water or chokes her on chunks of broken porcelain. Based on sound alone its hard to tell.

   Kenny's recovering from his injury. He's staring at the hallway leading into the guest rooms, hoping that Tiff will walk out of there but knowing she won't. It's up to him to warn the others now so he pulls himself together, yanks his shorts from the dining table rubble (we see a bulge from the pocket knife in one of his pockets) and jogs off into the night, still in his plain navy boxers. Kenny reaches Jenny, Deb, and LaChappa, who are done cleaning and are sitting by the fire, winding down with blankets and cups of hot chocolate. LaChappa is explaining how D & D works to the girls as Kenny stumbles onto the scene, tugging on his shorts. He tells them what's happened. LaChappa asks Kenny if he's playing drunk cop again but Jenny leaps to her feet, ready to move. She takes Deb by the hand as Kenny suggests the two of them sneak to the boat while he and LaChappa head towards the car and warn the others along the way. Deb is in shock. She isn't panicking but she hasn't said a single word. Concerned, Kenny takes his new pocket knife and hands it to her before our group of heroes disperse from the fire

SECOND ACT: 

Five minutes later...

   The counsellors have all split up into mini groups or gone solo in search of safety. Isolated and cursing under his breath, Mitch is attempting a fusebox repair before Jason stalks behind him, grabs him by the back of the neck, and rips an electrical cord out of the fusebox. Screaming, Mitch's mouth is agape in the sudden awe that only death can inspire. Mitch tries to push and thrash away from the sparking cord but Jason holds him still and shoves the cord into Mitch's throat. Choking on bursts of miniature lightning, Mitch's throat melts in on itself, transforming his screams into echoing, half-mechanical gargles. Suddenly his beard erupts into a glorious blaze and he crumples to a heap appropriately fried.

   Kenny is standing guard while Lachappa labors inside the hood of a beat up old yellow car. There's no sign of Jason. Lachappa slams the hood down and Kenny hops in the car. For some reason, perhaps pondering whether or not any of the others are going to make it, LaChappa is standing outside the car waiting for Kenny to start it before he can get in.  Kenny claims, "I can't believe it started!" and leans out the window to tell LaChappa to, "Hurry up and shove the boxes in the backseat out of the way so we can pick up the others!" We hear footsteps and are preparing for Jason's arms to reach out and grab Kenny's vulnerable neck, but all of a sudden Lachappa is thrown from off screen onto the hood of the car. Jason drags LaChappa down out of sight. Kenny's watching, unsure if he should get out and help or drive off. Fed up, Kenny tries to be a hero. He pulls the keys out of the ignition, runs up to Jason, and stabs them into Jason's throat as if they were his pocket knife. Jason merely looks at Kenny and then stomps LaChappa's face in. LaChappa is choking on his own blood, causing him to wheeze like just another nerd with asthma. He's barely alive and beyond saving, so Kenny yanks the keys from Jason's throat and ducks a deadly swipe of Jason's machete. Jason swings at Kenny again, but since Jason refuses to adjust his aim and Kenny is still crouching, Jason misses. As Jason is preparing LaChappa for an especially brutal version of the bird bath context kill, Kenny hops back in the car and reverses out of there.

   Unfortunately, Kenny is so revolted by Jason slamming his friend onto a bird bath and then decapitating him, he has reversed into the woods rather than driving past the preoccupied behemoth to safety. Kenny is making a valiant effort guiding their piece of junk car around rocks and between trees. With nowhere to go, Kenny forces the sputtering vehicle up a small hill, obviously preying for a clear trail on the other side. Instead, the rustbucket gains speed and zooms into a small graveyard. Kenny swerves around one gravestone but crashes into the next. "Piece of shit!" he yells, and before he can finish starting the car again Jason appears and manhandles him out of it. Jason slams a flailing Kenny onto the spiked iron fence surrounding the graveyard, impaling him in multiple places (rare context kill) as we see so much blood pour out of Kenny that his shirt isn't even plaid anymore.

   Clinging to each other as they stumble to a cabin, Adam and AJ are using their love for each other as a desperate source of hope. They reach a tiny cabin and barricade themselves in. Finding barely anything (such shitty luck!), Adam leaves temporarily through a window to find a weapon. Shortly after, Jason arrives.  Jason is searching for AJ but she ambushes  him as he walks through a doorway. She hits him in the back of the head with a wrench. He stumbles forward but soon rises again and turns towards her. Spittle flying from her mouth, full of teenaged angst and defiance she shrieks into Jason's mask, "Fuck you!" She swings the wrench again but Jason catches her arm. She drops the wrench, which somehow explodes into dust when it hits the ground. Jason twists AJ's arm behind her back and snaps it in half at the elbow before shoving her onto her knees and forcing her into the same doorway she used to trick him. He brutally slams the door into her face over and over, pulvarizing her skull into a shattered ornament of smeared eye shadow and blood just as Adam has hopped back through the window, machete in hand.

   Adam witnesses AJ's head caving in and rushes at Jason, who casually discards AJ's corpse to the floor. Adam gets some good whacks on Jason with the machete but it breaks before he can do any significant damage. Adam drives the shattered half into Jason's heart, forcing Jason back, providing Adam with a potential moment to flee, but he looks down at his broken beloved and still can't leave her. He grabs some fireworks that had fallen from a pocket in her skirt, lights them and shoves them in Jason's face. A few of the firecrackers are stuck in Jason's mask. Adam wrestles with the hulking butcher, managing to force Jason to drop his machete, but Jason overpowers the young biker and heaves him through the same open window Adam entered through. Somehow bloodied and covered in shredded leather despite not hitting any glass, Adam is crawling in the dirt outside. He pulls himself to his feet and limps towards an axe stuck in a stump. Adam is barely moving, using all his will just to stay upright. Jason descends upon him and shoves him back onto the ground before dragging him over to the stump and yanking open his legs. Mentally already reunited with AJ, Adam stares lifelessly into the stars as Jason takes hold of his ankles and pulls his groin into the axe, splitting Adam in two (in the DLC kill it's the pig splitter).

THIRD ACT:

   Buggzy, Jenny, and Deb are isolated in a cabin along the fringes of the camp. Jenny is sitting with Deb by the fire, consoling her as they try to come up with a plan, while Buggzy is pacing to psyche himself up for his inevitable confrontation with Jason, who bursts through the door rage style, scattering the two women. Buggzy does battle with Jason, ducking blows, sidestepping Jason's machete, and finally knocking Jason's mask off with nothing but a cooking pot. Jason's ugly mug is illuminated in the light of the fireplace and an enraged Jason finally burries his machete into Buggzy's chest. Buggzy drops to his knees, telling Jason that at least the others are going to make it.

   Joining the Jason bashing session, Tommy takes a running leap into the cabin, dusts himself off, and calls Jason "Maggot Breath!" Then, instead of aiding Buggzy, Tommy runs back into the woods never to be heard from again.

   Buggzy spits a wad of blood onto the ground like a defeated boxer after going nine rounds. With two brutal strokes Jason hacks off Buggzy's arms and shoves him headfirst into the fireplace. Buggzy's forehead slams into a charred log, which bursts into black ash that rains over the chaos. As Buggzy gags on the flames, Jason pins him down with one massive boot, effectively making Buggzy's corpse even uglier than Jason's. 

   Much like the scripts for the remake and the cancelled new film, Jenny is the calm one who the audience trusts. Jenny and Deb slip out through the back window and head towards the boat, but Jason tracks them down in the woods. Before Jason can swing his machete, Jenny nails him quickdraw style with a flare gun she's had stashed in her back pocket and instructs Deb how to reach the beach. Jenny leads Jason in the opposite direction, holding him off by breaking tree branch after tree branch on his gargantuan shoulders before finally running out of resources and ducking into his shack. Jason follows behind her and she screams, "Why won't you fucking die!?!?"

   Cornered, Jenny grabs the axe from Jason's makeshift bookshelf and as a final act of defiance, she uses it to bash Pamela's remains onto the ground. Staring Jason in the face undaunted, she stomps Pamela's skull into dust right in front of Jason. There is a brief pause as she waits for the end, and with one quick motion Jason slides his machete through her abdomen and she crumples onto Pamela's alter. 

    Jason marches out of his shack. With one more victim left, he's all business. Deb is sprinting through the sand when suddenly she topples forward. The maniac has buried a bear trap on the beach and her pant leg is snagged in its jaws. Jason has hidden the trap with leaves, which perplexes Deb and us because it would have looked more camouflaged under the sand. Still, Deb was expecting him to have put this kind of effort into protecting the car and now she's caught. She slips out Kenny's pocket knife and slices through the fabric just as Jason breaks the tree-line behind her. His massive feet practically leave craters in the sand as he closes the distance to his prey.

   Frantic, Deb springs up and uses the last of her energy to reach the boat. Kneeling on the dock and holding back sobs, Deb fixes the boat and narrowly escapes. The tears erupt from poor Deb now, and she uses one sleeve of her sweater to wipe down her glasses as she steers the boat to safety. 

WEB-SERIES SPINOFF

   Speedo Chad is the star of a web-series spinoff on the CW about a grumpy old college swim coach named Ralph who has brought his team to train at crystal lake. The opening credits are a montage of  Chad on a podium receiving trophies molded after penises. After initially panicking and abandoning their opening day guest speaker Ryan Lochte to certain death, Chad actually rallies his team against Jason and manages to keep himself and one other injured swim-team member alive. As Chad helps his teammate limp out of the woods to the main road, Chad confesses that he actually didn't join the swim team to get girls or impress his mom, but rather to meet boys because he has been unsure about his sexuality. They collapse on the roadside and the other survivor calls Chad homophobic slurs as Chad attempts to bandage his team-mate's injured leg, revealing to the audience that the other survivor is the real douche, not Chad. Giving up, Chad throws his hands in the air and makes the Chad-face not out of fear, but rather in disgust at college swim team masculinity. He leaves the real douche to bandage his own wound and starts walking down the side of the road towards a pleasant pink sunset. 

   Having accidentally dropped his bandage in the mud, the real douche is trying to hitchhike back to town. Over his shoulder we spot Ryan Lochte who isn't dead at all. Instead, Ryan has adorned Jason's mask and is creeping through the woods, making front-crawl strokes through the air with his hands.

Tiffany died with a fight that’s my girl. But imo Tiffany should have survived not fucking Chad. 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, CPLhicks31 said:

 If i was writing more for artistic value I absolutely would have had tiff being the final girl, but I was more so trying to parody the game while writing a movie that could fit somewhat snuggly in the universe, and then the spinoff that would no doubt happen after hollywood has milked every ounce of blood from an already cliche franchise.

 

PS: I agree, Tina wasn't mean or rude. She was pretty cool actually. i certainly tried to portray Tiff as endearing and likeable. Basically just a really fun girl. I added her into Act 1, along with a sex scene. I also implied that she has motivations beyond partying and boys. The flirty girl shouldn't have to be the mean girl.

Tiffany being the final girl would be hilarious like imagine seeing a girl in booty shorts killing Jason. And also sorry for the double post 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Moe9999633 said:

Tiffany died with a fight that’s my girl. But imo Tiffany should have survived not fucking Chad. 

 

Haha. Deb was the real survivor. The CW. Network is never going to kill off a goldmine like Chad. And yes, Tiff had a great fight. As did Jenny (my favorite).

The only two characters who didn't were Mitch and LaChappa.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...