Quinn FTW

Which is the main reason I don't play the SPCs very often.

You know who can drive, though? Tommy "DGAF" Jarvis. In addition to slaughtering counselors with his shotgun, Tommy will run MFers over if he gets behind the wheel of a car. And I actually had him escape one time on Packanack Small. I morph+shifted in front of the car, and he just kept right on driving, pushing me along in front of the car. He took a curve at full speed, pushed me out of the way, then hauled ass right out the exit before my morph could recharge. Of course, some of that might be a bug. I have been unable to bash the yellow car on Packanack Small more than once lately. Even lined up with the center of the hood, the smash prompt wouldn't show, and it didn't autotrigger. I'd report it, but it'd be about the 995th priority on the ever-growing list, and I'll literally be dead long before it ever got fixed / "fixed." That said, I'm deeply disappointed, because Crystal Lake Small and Packanack Small would occasionally be a challenge. Depending on the bots, every once in a while, they'll get a car started before your sense is even active. Or, rather, they used to, before they decided to go on strike, or whatever it is they're doing now.

Still less toxic than random lobbies.

Apparently, the Offline Bots can no longer be arsed to do anything. I have played multiple games this weekend where the majority of them just stand around inside a cabin, waiting to be killed. Had one game where only a single counselor (Deborah) did anything at all, and all she did was trip a trap on the phone box before crawling through a window just to stand there, waiting for the sweet release of death. Even the ones that always have pocket knives (eg Trollnessa), once they stab you and "run for it" will just trot to another cabin, then resume standing around with their proverbial thumbs up their proverbial butts. Anyone else experiencing this? Anyone else even still playing with the Offline Bots?

I take it, then, that you don't play any battle royales like PUBG or Apex, or any open world survival games like Fallout 76 or RUST. Games like those are little more than playgrounds for hackers / griefers. Aimbots, Wallhacks, ESP; there's an industry marketing cheats for those types of games. In addition to in-game cheats, such as teaming / team killing, etc. I've even seen some cheat programs advertised for this game. But mostly it's just been glitchers using exploits or teamers just out to grief and ruin everyone else's good time. Packanack roof. Higgins Hidden Room and/or Bridge. Parking cars in front of doors / the barn / outhouses. Setting bear traps under windows. Running people down with cars. I have to give the development team credit for at least trying. Putting barriers to stop the car issue. Trying to patch out map glitches. But it's kind of like trying to keep water in a sieve. Bottom line: I don't really blame the game; I blame people. They are why we can't have nice things.

I think you answered your own question.

Shotgun Jarvis strikes again!!

Only Chad knows for sure... 👨

Sometimes. But they will still run a MFer over. No hesitation.

They will wait for a full car before taking off 80% of the time. 10% of the time, they'll start driving if you get near the car. 10% they just sit there, full car or not.

I thought those were new ... or at least added while I was taking a break from the game. I think we (the community) had a thread about ideas for the bots last year. I remember suggesting that they should let us up the number of counselors to 10 or 12. I guess them having a boat would be all kinds of ridiculous (even though MFers spawn carrying the propeller). If you play Crystal Lake Small, they can sometimes get a car started before your Morph recharges the first time. Like you said, though, at least they can't drive. I've seen them drive cars into the water. I've seen them flip cars on their side, on their roof, and one time, on its front end.

I've been firing up the Offline Bots lately, and my memory may be a little fuzzy, but I think their behavior has gotten even crazier than I recall. Sure, they still run in place against a rock, fence, wall, etc, and they'll jump in a cabin / run away, just to jump back out / run back into your arms, but they're even wackier than that. Example: I've noticed that they tend to get stuck outside outhouses. They'll just stand there, just outside, sometimes spinning, sometimes just standing. Maybe it's a bug. Maybe they forgot how to get in. Maybe they get stuck. Who knows? But it's hinky. Also, Tommy Bot is just as much a threat to counselors as I am. He will not hesitate to straight up waste counselors with his shotgun, as long as you're in his LOS. Grabbed, not grabbed, running away, minding their own business. Doesn't matter. Shotgun Jarvis has their number. Also also, these counselors probably need counselors of their own. Depression apparently runs rampant among the poor bots. Suicide rates are way up. Maybe they're depressed because they can't get into the outhouses to poop. Maybe they're traumatized because there's not one, but two bloodthirsty killers after them. Maybe they're just hopped up on pills. Either way, it's hilarious. Do yourself a favor and strike up a few matches. Maybe you'll get lucky, and they'll start a car, then drive it straight into the water. Just stick to the small maps; they don't seem to respond well on the larger ones. If you have played with the Bots, share your wacky stories of Bot Wackiness.

My record for a single round was 11 pocket knives to the neck. And, no, that did not include Jarvis. I got 7 out of 7, but I only got that last Tiffany with a few seconds to spare, and only because window tosses are so fast.

I have not had any problems logging in this week. I don't want to jinx it by declaring it "fixed," but I do wish to say thanks to whoever is/was working the problem.

That's the other "D" word that makes the natives restless.