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The Doctor

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Everything posted by The Doctor

  1. Society - pretty good/10. But I'm partial to Brian Yuzna. 😉 Good effects, kinda weird story, definitely worth a watch.
  2. They really should have included the soundtrack to sweeten the pot.
  3. I'm not gonna nitpick so I'll say this once and leave it that: I don't really hear/read/see comments about uncreated content. Most of what I get from people is just finishing and delivering what's already been teased. I think if Uber had never been shown, we could at least not sit here and prognosticate about "what could have been". People are not pissed about the fact content stopped, it's that it could have ended on a much higher note.
  4. You're just reiterating my points. I wasn't in any way suggesting a new team that is hired to squash bugs will somehow guarantee 'new content' so please don't attribute that to me. I'm not even hopeful in the slightest that this is what any of this means.
  5. Kinda weird you needed to outsource all of this but I guess it doesn't really matter when you compare it to IllFonic. I mean, how much worse could it possibly get?
  6. So I went back and watched the ashcan Hellraiser... (cough) Revelations. Wow, I mean, wow. Shaky cam, useless plot, a very unconvincing plot. I felt more sick to my stomach watching Supersize Me than this crap. If you research the film at all, you know it was done on a tight budget and done very quickly. It really shows. There's really not much that saves the film at all. In fact, it kills me because it was only made to keep the license to Pinhead. A lot of people can say that Platinum Dunes destroyed Jason or Freddy... pretty please don't look at what Dimension did to my dearest Pinhead. Objectively it's a Hellraiser film in name only. Subjectively, not at all. You could wipe out every single instance of the Hellraiser lore and it can probably still work. It's a bad fever dream. What I find crazy is how this film is sold for anything above 2 bucks on blu-ray. I wouldn't gift my friends this trash. The plot isn't really much to talk about. I know that half of the Hellraiser films were treated scripts to include Pinhead. I'll remove Doug Bradley from the magic and just focus on what's at hand. The kills suck. The acting is on par or worse than a made for TV film. If Hellraiser met Days of Our Lives, this is probably it. I'm not pissed off that the studios did this considering how they are in the business of making money, but as a fan, this is total garbage. I guess it's one of those things that you have to accept but try to forget in the grand scheme of things. I guess every horror series needs to go through it's own personal Hell before it gets better. ? 0/10. Maybe 1/10 because for the cenobites makeup, but why the fuck were a few of them hanging out next to a pool? Absurd. The biggest problem? The cenobites seem more like obnoxious BDSM neighbors who need to be shot with shotguns rather than supernatural demons from Hell. EDIT: I was being kinda nice, so that was a review of the first 3/4ths of it because I had to turn the shit off. I am gonna finish this properly. So I think I was also avoiding actually talking about the plot itself, but eh, IDK, you can read it on Wiki or something: Two dimwits that try to rip off Johnny Depp go to Mexico to mess with the box and have a good time. Guess where that goes. For whatever stupid reason they want to also film it. Shaky cams happen again, bad lines happen. Am I in a Hellraiser film or a fan film? An absurd scene happens where it would make porn acting look Oscar worthy then I guess . At this point I have such a headache I am constantly pausing the film because I don't know whether to continue to watch or pour a stiff drink. At this point I'd rather just watch some Doug to remind me why I am such a big fan of this series. I can already feel like I can never recover from any of this when I talk about this since it's literally the worst I've ever seen in my fav series. All it tells me is that horror will never really be the same. I'll update again later. EDIT 2: Sigh, I'll just get to the worst part... Totally is against the lore. So, finally. The only reason I find that there is so much to unpack here is because it's so incredibly bad it's offensive to everything I know about this film series. I would be legitimately sad by this one if it weren't for the fact the film studios did a pretty good job at softening the blow that the series was getting shittier and shittier. This is one of those films that I prefer to pretend never existed. I take back my 0/10, it's a -1/10 because of how long I needed to take to actually finish it. Judgement seriously isn't any better. The "Of Chucky" films at least still had Brad Dourif. This has nothing relating to the original Hellraiser at all.
  7. Yeah, it's written by Marquis de Sade. Definitely defines the libertine movement. French aristocracy instead of Italian fascists.
  8. That's incredibly cool. Would you say you're done with the figure overall? I figured maybe you'd want to add some more touches like the spikes on his shoulders or other minor things.
  9. I don't think anyone really cares about new/clueless people. They're not in any kind of real trouble. I mean, that bit of "drama" would last maybe a day or two.
  10. Which system? I haven't checked but the Jason skins still work for me so I'd imagine that'd be basically the same thing.
  11. Huh? If Jason hears the boat start and isn't distracted, you're dead in the water trying to reach the escape. Doesn't matter whatsoever if you don't mess up the gasoline or the propeller.
  12. I would think everyone would agree that they looked cool. The almost naked girl in the lake? I mean, wasn't that concept art what helped to sell people to crowdfund the game?
  13. That leads me to Event Horizon, now that I think about it. I've seen it I don't know how many times and having watched it again, here are my thoughts: Let me first just put out there, I personally think it's an under-rated horror/sci-fi film. I know some people who hate it or find it bland, but everyone certainly has different tastes. Pressing on... Both Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill are really great in this for a variety of reasons. Most people know Sam from Jurassic Park, but when I hear his name I think of this film or In The Mouth of Madness. Same with Laurence and the Matrix and not Cowboy Curtis, but I digress. Sam is a great actor in my opinion who really sells the part he plays. Laurence also has some great lines, namely: This part cracks me up every time. Same with "Fuck this ship". I mentioned in earlier posts people have kind of said this is like "Hellraiser in space" and I mean I can kinda see their point, but it has its own unique flare to it. Paul W.S. Anderson did a great job on this if you ask me and the real horror here is that the unrated/extended/director's/whatever cut is pretty much lost to the sands of time and will never see the true light of day. I remember IMDb boards (when those were still a thing) demanding it for probably what's going on a decade plus. There are clips from what was cut (namely Sam Neill crawling around like a spider, for example) that should have been in the film regardless. I am a bit biased but I thought this film delivered on everything I enjoy: horror/a bit gorey and disturbing/some light comedy/sci-fi talk never hurts and above all else that always makes a film stand out to me: a bit of mindfuckery. Then again, I actually did read the novelization of this film and actually enjoyed that too, and I'm one who hates that kind of thing. Is it a 10/10 or even a 9/10? No. I give it a solid 8 if not slightly more. That score would be higher if the unrated version could ever be found and released. It's a kick in the teeth to think this film could be better just because a bunch of tight-arsed execs wouldn't let it be. When I was a younger man my friends and I always joked that MPAA always stood for "My Parents Are Assholes" and that's a shame because so many excellent horror films get torn to shreds because of censorship/running times/whatever. Also as an aside, I can't stand blu rays that come with basically no special features. What's the point?
  14. I think those load screens were just artwork placeholders which has been pointed out before. If they legally own them, why remove them? I agree that they should add them back.
  15. @Fair Play I also. My overall point was that it makes grinding achievements even more of a chore than it already is. It's just salting the wound at this point.
  16. I'm going to have to agree to disagree and leave it that. Grinding achievements becomes less worth it overall to the average player with this direction, but at the end of the day, what can be done and why does it really matter anyway.
  17. Bloodlines was a bit out there because of the whole "X in outer space" concept really turns people off. I'm surprised Mikey hasn't been hurled onto a rocket ship yet. The thing about Inferno, Deader, Hellseeker and Hellworld is that those were original scripts that got the Hellraiser/Pinhead brand tacked onto it. You can see it really come through because of the overall tone and pacing of those films. The thing is, some of them honestly aren't bad. Inferno is a lot like Jacob's Ladder, so if you liked that film, you'll probably like Inferno. It's a real gem. Hellseeker wasn't bad because they brought back Kirsty from the original two, so it was interesting to watch. Deader is meh, Hellworld is downright silly but if you like Lance Henriksen, it doesn't entirely disappoint. As far as the Judeo-Christian lore or whatever, you have to kind of suspend the concept of what "Hell" is considering the actual Hell in the film world is an endless maze of corridors and rooms of people's personal hells that are looked over by a bunch of mutants that wear gimp suits and are ruled by a gigantic floating polyhedron named Leviathan that has a crazy pet monster called the Engineer. I don't think you'll find that anywhere in the Good Book. You kind of have to take it what you will... like whatever "Hell" is supposed to be in Event Horizon.
  18. The only thing I would argue for in this is, which I guess is moreso now than ever, is that the achievements for the other side should really not be so unimaginably difficult. It just makes it all even more grotesquely even more appalling and not fun.
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